—Ed Rush and George Cromarty
I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Sitting on the dashboard of my car.
Going ninety and it ain't scary
Cause I've got the Virgin Mary
Sitting on the dashboard of my car.
When I'm in the back seat singin'
Jesus is up there grinning
Sitting on the dashboard of my car.
Red or white or black or yeller
I don't care cause he's my feller
Sitting on the dashboard of my car.
When I'm in a traffic jam
he don't care if I say damn
I can let all kinds of curses roll
Cause plastic Jesus he can't hear
Because he's got a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul.
Now get yourself a sweet madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sittin on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
I'm going ninety and it ain't scary
Cause I've got the Virgin Mary
Tellin me that I can't go to hell.
Plas-tic Je-sus …
Plas-tic Je-sus…
Sitting on the dashboard of my car.
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels across the nation
As long as I got my Jesus I'll go far.
Verse:
| I | I | IV | IV |
| I | I | V | V :| |
Verses from Cool Hand Luke
I don't care if it rains or freezes,
As long as I got my plastic Jesus
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car.
Comes in colors pink and pleasant,
Glows in the dark cause he's iridescent
Take him with you when you travel far.
Get yourself a sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sittin' on a
Pedestal of abalone shell.
Going ninety I ain't scary
Cause I got the Virgin Mary
Assurin' me that I won't go to Hell.
Extra Verses:
Plastic Jesus plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I'm afraid He'll have to go.
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar.
Riding down a thoroughfare
With His nose up in the air,
A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind.
Trouble coming He don't see,
He just keeps His eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind.
Plastic Jesus plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car …
Though the sunshine on His back
Makes Him peel, chip and crack,
A little patching keeps Him up to par.
When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say "damn"
I can let all my curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
'Cause he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul.
Plastic Jesus plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car …
Once His robe was snowy white,
Now it isn't quite so bright,
Stained by the smoke of my cigar.
If I weave around at night,
And policemen think I'm tight,
They never find my bottle – though they ask.
Plastic Jesus shelters me,
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask.
Plastic Jesus plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car …
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb –
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar.