—Merle Travis
Just bought me a great long ticket. I'm gonna use it at 4 p.m.
So you can call your secret love and break the news to him
You thought your little romance was on the strict Q.T.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q. divorce me C.O.D.
Chorus:
I won't be 'round to hear you cry
I'm Texas-bound, and by and by
You can reach me down in Dallas, general delivery
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q. divorce me C.O.D.
There's gonna come a day, gal, when you'll be feeling blue
You'll find that you can't pay your bills with a little old I.O.U.
That dynamite you're messing with, may be T.N.T.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q. divorce me C.O.D.
Chorus:
Don't need to fall down on your knees
'Cause I know all my ABC's
I ain't no college professor, I ain't got no P.H.D.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q, divorce me C.O.D.
Alternate chorus:
When winter time comes, I hope you freeze
While I'm layin' around, just twiddlin' my thumbs in my BVDs
I ain't no college professor, I ain't got no P.H.D.
But if you want your freedom P.D.Q, divorce me C.O.D.
Verse:
| I | I | II | II |
| V | V | I | V |
| I | I | II | II |
| IV – IV#º | I – VI | II – V | I |
Chorus:
| IV | IV | I | I |
| II | II | V | V |
| I | I | II | II |
| IV – IV#º | I – VI | II – V | I |